Broken Record - Ready For a New Track!

A very serious note…

Hey, CRO-ME’s…

As many of you subscribers know, I have been trying to sell artwork - but, I haven’t sold any since last month. I really do try to get things nipped in the bud so that I don’t have to stress and nearly have anxiety/panic attacks while trying to wind down at night to simply sleep - but all I can think of is how I cannot sell anything and how rent is coming up…and the fear of us having to move again…and into my truck….in the hot summer.

Sure, you may think this sounds dramatic or harsh reality - but it’s very real. You all ONLY know of the struggles I choose to share with you. I don’t discuss how my health is declining, and how I am in pain every day - from the morning I wake up to when I finally choose to sit down.

Whining about that does nothing for me. So, I just work through the pain. I don’t take pain killers, I am on zero prescriptions - the pain I feel is unmasked.

Now, combine that with hustling every day to simply get a sale, or for folks to see me, and my posts that have been hidden by all the algorithms in the social media universe - I am literally over grasping for air, for just a day where I am not worried how I am going to make it…

Last week, someone graciously donated money to help me out - and I knew that I needed to use this money for bills, but I also literally had only been surviving on beans. So, guilt-ridden - I went to Walmart and bought $90 worth of food for myself, got the cheapest but decent bag of dog food for just over $50 - when we normally buy $75 40 lb baf of dog food….

Every day I am skimping and trying to find ways to stretch a dollar, but it’s getting really scary. I am not giving up on this home, I want to stay here. I want to unfortunately buy it, flip it, and resell to obtain land and more. I have goals, I know what I am worth - but I have been dealt some cards that has made my life a bit more difficult than I expected.

I just need people in my corner, I need people that believe in me, that want to see me succeed - but, right now I just feel like everyone’s watching while passing a bowl of popcorn.

This is not a scripted reality show, folks. This is my life, and I am extremely worried right now - when I should be focusing on next weekends workshops, I am over here hustling to make rent in two days.

If I don’t get any sales or help to make rent, the next thing I am going to have to do is message the landlords and tell them (fib) that I will not have the money until Monday because I am so busy with getting everything ready for next weekend.

The other angle I unfortunately am going to have to work, is asking a church for help. This is literally the LAST thing I ever want to do. I am not religious, was raised it - but, diminishing myself to ask an organization I don’t believe in, just feels so gross. But, I have 3 dogs and this business I really need to make happen!

This weekend is EVERYTHING. I NEED it to go good - and I have no idea how I am going to afford gas and taking care of my dogs and everything ….like, if anyone needs some stress - I got plenty to hand out. But, I remind myself daily to breathe, to manifest, to be hopeful…that someone will come through…Someone will see how I just want everything to go RIGHT for a change - so that I can actually have DOWNTIME to work on past due commissions and personal work. Like I can't stress that part enough.

I wish I could paint a picture of how very little time I have during the day between just wishing that someone will purchase something so that I can have a wee break, down to my 3 dogs not liking how much I am working/being distant. And, this can’t be good on my heart or body - and I am definitely feeling super weak in the past 2 - 3 weeks from lack of nutrition due to not much money to buy food with. I ate chickpeas and rice for a week. Some days just rice.

I wish I was making this struggle up…

Lastly, I am sick of my personal business/financial problems/etc...being everyone’s business just to get a sale - in a perfect world, I would sell artwork, my posts would be fun, and you would ONLY be receiving emails from me to brag about a new piece and to tell you about an upcoming exhibit, workshop, or event.

I am REALLY over this struggle and would love to enjoy my life…I can’t even remember the last time I went out to have FUN. I can’t remember the last time I got a hug other than from my dogs. I have zero people to talk to, to bounce ideas off of…granted, I am very selective - but, still. Would be nice to have a therapist. 🤣

Ready For A Change,

And, really really hope I find some people to add to my CRO-ME’s that would love the same for me.

This is when I would do the normal “link drop” that leads you to all the places you need to go - but, you already know all the sales I am having. You already know my website. Now’s when you make the choice if you’d like help or continue to pass the popcorn. Share direct links with friend/fam/coworkers that may want ....something!

Furthermore - I will be lessening emails to subscribers who do not open emails or click. I want my time going to the folks who are interested and appreciate hearing from me.

I will find my peace. I will find my people.

Thanks for being one of them. <3

CROME